Burn, Breathe, Rise, Repeat!

It’s been busy. I’ve had my school work, my therapy, and a new bipolar diagnosis. I’ve been crafting heavy for a Minds Made Mighty Etsy startup! But let’s talk about falling through the cracks in the medical world. That is what has happened to me with my Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures (PNES). I got hired on a job and had episodes in the middle of orientation the first day. I went back the second day and had episodes again so they told me that I would need a doctor's note releasing me for duty without restrictions in order to go back to work. Easy enough right? Wrong! As it turns out, for highly active PNES, it is hard to be released not because of the disorder, but because of not truly belonging to one medical field.

I first went to my primary care provider. She said because the episodes were so active, she would not feel comfortable releasing me for work. She referred me to psychiatry because she said this was a purely psychiatric disorder. I had my psychiatry appointment and mind you they were great doctors. They were very thorough with their questions and even were able to diagnose me with Bipolar II Disorder. They adjusted my medications but were not able to release me for work. They said, while PNES is psychological in nature it is also technically considered neurological. Now I will have to see a neurologist to be released to go back to work.

I made the appointment. I informed my work. I kept in contact with my work every step of the way. However, because this process was taking months, I ended up getting let go…

I was not eligible for FMLA. I was eligible for ADA but they said that the amount of time the company would allot me for ADA was coming to an end and I would not be able to see the neurologist in time to get back to work so they were going to continue with the separation process at no fault of my own.

So there it is. Another pitfall on my way to achieving my goals because of my PNES. This same disorder has blocked me many times before when it comes to living my life how I want to. But the key is to not give up. If there is one thing you should know about me it is that I am a fighter! I always liken myself to a phoenix because whenever things go up in flames, I rise again from the ashes. And that’s the exact mentality you have to have when dealing with an invisible disorder or many like me. You burn, you breathe, you rise. And as long as life keeps burning you up, you repeat that process until you fly.