Independently Dependent

2/3/2026

Dependent is defined as requiring someone or something for financial, emotional, or other support. And as an adult, you are expected to be independent.  But what if you can’t help it? What if you have to rely on someone or something for support in order to make it through your daily life? Well, many with chronic illness become disabled by it and fall into this category.

How does it feel to be an adult depending on everyone around you? It feels suffocating. When you first get that diagnosis, it feels like the end of independence altogether. Then you get the restrictions put on you. Then your loved ones start to worry so much that they won’t allow you to do things you used to do. Then you stop trying altogether. You say, “What’s the point?” And suddenly, with that one statement, you have let the illness win.

I empower you today. You are not your illness. It may limit you, but it does not own you. There is a movement and philosophy called Independent Living. It is about disabled people wanting and putting in the effort to gain back independence in their lives. “Independent Living does not mean that we want to do everything by ourselves and do not need anybody or that we want to live in isolation” says Dr. Ratzka Adolf. He says that Independent Living is about disabled people demanding the same choices and control in our lives as those without disabilities. 

Just because you have a disability, doesn’t mean you can’t do things you are interested in. It doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t work, go to school, and/or start your own family. This is something I came to realize recently. By saying things like, “What’s the point?,” “I can’t,” “My illness doesn’t allow me,” “It’s too much to handle,” we give the illness the power over our lives. I challenge you to rewrite your nervous system today. Make a list of all the negative, belittling, hurtful things you say to yourself because you feel powerless against your illness. Then, beside each of those, empower yourself. Talk back to your illness. Tell it you’re in control. “What’s the point?” “The point is I want to live my life, not just breathe in it.” I can’t.” No. “I can and I will.” “My illness doesn’t allow me…” Nope. “My illness limits me, but I can still do this.” “It’s too much to handle.” Absolutely not. “I’m tired, but I can still keep going.” 

As long as we regard our disabilities as tragedies, we will be pitied.

As long as we feel ashamed of who we are, our lives will be regarded as useless.

As long as we remain silent, we will be told by others what to do.

-Dr. Ratzka Adolf

I’m not telling you that your chronic illness is easy to deal with. I’m not saying that it doesn’t limit you. But you can have a life. You can have some sort of independence. Break free from the chains this illness has on you. Have faith in yourself and look to the future. As someone with a chronic illness that is constantly telling me I have nothing, I am nothing, and I will be nothing, looking to the future shows me what I have now, what I am, and what I will be. So, stay positive. Stay strong. Stay independent.

Resources:

• A Personal Definition of Independent Living by Adolf Ratzka. (2020). Independentliving.org. https://www.independentliving.org/def.html