From Damsel in Distress to Hero of the Story

1/20/2026

Growing up, my anxiety was always perceived as shyness. I had grown a reputation as that shy girl who always has her nose in a book. I could never answer questions when the teachers called on me. My mind froze up when a stranger said hi. I was quiet, but smart and kind. I remember the first time I met my best friend. I was able to talk to her right off. I knew then that she would have a significant place in my heart from then on. 

As I got older, depression started to take hold of me as well. I was constantly hating myself for not being able to speak naturally like everyone else. I often had crying spells and hid away so no one would see. On the outside I looked like a normal happy teenager, but on the inside, I was filled with self-hate and fear.

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I even learned about Anxiety Disorders. And it would be another year or two afterwards that I was even diagnosed. By the time I had decided to seek help, my mind broke. Dissociation, Social Anxiety, General Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder had built up so much stress in the part of my brain that controls emotional responses that my mind couldn’t cope any longer. I was diagnosed with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures (PNES), commonly known as Pseudoseizures. Earlier the same year, I had already been diagnosed with Idiopathic Gastroparesis. A condition in which the vagus nerve that controls stomach contractions gets damaged by unknown causes and slows digestion. Stress can cause flare ups of this condition. I’m sure you can imagine how bad mine flares up.

I spent years living under restrictions from these two conditions. I still live under restrictions. They wreaked havoc on my life and I let them. I let them because I felt helpless. I felt hopeless. I waited for an out. Waited for someone or something to come and fix me. I lived my world in a fantasy bubble because that was easier than my reality. 

Then one day I made a choice to pop that bubble. And on that day, I came crashing down to reality hard. I had let my mental illness dictate my life so much that I could not stay in a job for more than two weeks. I was still living with my parents at age 30. I felt trapped in a relationship because I didn’t want to hurt anyone and was afraid I couldn’t make it on my own, even though I saw no future with the man. I cut off ties from most of my old friends from school and refused to make new ones. 

I had done a bunch of work in therapy only to regress because I didn’t change what mattered most. Sure, I gained a bit of confidence and was able to release some of that stress. I even went into temporary remission from my PNES. But I hadn’t reframed my mindset. I was the Damsel in Distress trapped in a Villainous prison of my own mind. But I didn’t have to be. I could be the Hero of my Story if I just saw things differently.

So, I started with one step. The relationship I was trapped in had only lasted one and a half months, but I felt like I had been in that prison forever. I made a choice that day. I decided to do one thing for myself, despite what my loved ones thought. Despite the fact that it would hurt a lot of people. I left. I walked out of the relationship and when I did, I was hit with a boat load of anxiety.

What had I just done?! Everyone was going to be so upset! How would I live without a man to take care of me?! One deep breath. I’ve always had a dependent attachment style! I can’t do this on my own but I don’t really want a relationship! Two deep breaths. I need to go back! I need to say I didn’t mean it and just deal with the fact that I don’t think we are compatible! Three deep breaths! Temporary relief. What if I did leave because of my anxiety! What if I had just taken on too much and that’s why my PNES was set off everytime I was around him! Splash of cold water on my face. I looked up in the mirror at that moment and for the first time in seven years, I saw me. Not a stranger. Just me. A little broken. A little red and puffy from breaking into tears. But me. Flawed but just how I was made to be.

It was that moment that I saw what my future looked like for the first time. I had spent years wanting to be a therapist but shied away from that profession because of my anxiety. I didn’t think I could do it. I was just a Damsel in Distress trapped in my tower all those years, after all. But at that moment, I saw myself in the future. I was moved out of my parents house. Living in my own house with all my little pets and a fenced in back yard. Finally a counselor with clients that had problems like me to go through. They were all Damsels in Distress and they didn’t know yet that hiding inside them, just as I found in me, was a Hero of their own Story.